Funny Sayings

+37

If more than one Mouse is Mice then more than one Spouse is SPICE..!!

+21

Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass.

+21

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

+19

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile way and you have their shoes.

+17

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.

+17

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

+17

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

+16

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

+15

Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back.

+14

I wonder why you can always read a doctor’s bill and you can never read his prescription.

+14

The chicken came first – God would look silly sitting on an egg.

+13

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.

+11

If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.

+11

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

+11

Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.