Funny Sayings - Page 4

Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single

All marriages are happy. It’s living together after wards that is difficult.

Teach a man to fish and you’ll feed him for the rest of his life. Teach a man to phish and he’ll clean out your bank account.

In order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.

If you get to thinking you are a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.

Without geography, you’re nowhere.

Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her.

Light a man a fire and you keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

I’ve got problem for your solution.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

And on the eighth day God said, “Okay, Murphy, you’re in charge!”

When in charge ponder. When in trouble delegate. When in doubt mumble.

He who runs behind truck is exhausted, he who runs in front of truck is tired.

Do you know why they call it ‘PMS’? Because ‘Mad Cow Disease’ was already taken.

Be an optimist – at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.